Episode 339 - Dr. Katie Nall joined in to teach you how to reduce W.A.F.F.L.E.S (worry, anxiety, fear, frustration, lethargy, exhaustion and stress). You'll also be guided on how to do EFT (emotional freedom technique or tapping).--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/heather-hakes/support
Welcome to today's interview I’ve brought on dr. Katie Nall dr. Katie welcome I'm so excited to be able to have this conversation with you today on this gorgeous day yes me too I'd like for you to start out get the lister's little background where do you live and what do you do I live in Vero Beach Florida with my husband almost 48 years we accidentally got married and I kept asking for divorce he does not cooperate we are the parents of 3 perfect children they became perfect Wednesday all moved out of the house for the V legal and I called them illegal because the first letter of their name spell out the word legal adorable granddaughters what I do is I'm a Florida mathematician who shows others how to dissolve their walls is all their worries anxiety fear frustration after she exhaustion and stress today which I know we can all relate to and we've already talked about a little bit but 2020 sure we can keep going back to that but not even just that you're alone most of society is functioning at high levels of stress we've condition ourselves to stay in the stress mode which leads to the seasonings it fear and what will your waffles so I would love for you to kind of just deep size you know the difference between our conscious and subconscious minds and in what the stress is all about and how we can all is well maybe not eliminate but definitely just like to calm ourselves I haven't you bring up a really important point and you're right 80% of medical visits are stress-related illnesses all of the things can be a voice once you learn how to manage our stress the stress comes from a disconnect between our our prefrontal cortex are thinking mind what we think we have control over and what actually is taking control which is her subconscious or are are amygdala lizard brain are lizard green was put there to Keep Us Alive to keep his survival is there a disconnect they're the best example I can tell you Heather is that if where we are right now is it turn if it start on fire you and I would both know to get the heck out and call 911 if we are 15 years old and in the same row room we probably do the same thing if we weren't 10 years old we would probably know to get out if we were five years old and the place caught on fire we might know to leave if we were five months old and we were laying on the floor in the place came on fire we wouldn't have any idea what was going on until we were rescued I wish we were growing up things have happened to us that we had responses to that were based on survival and what happened is our amygdala has recorded every one of those situations we may have been in a room where we had some traumatic thing and and it may not have been traumatic to the other person that was in the room but she last appeared formatting and in that room there may have been on the corner a red trash can and when you walk into another room and you walk into the room and you feel uncomfortable and you don't know why and you don't even notice the end of corner there's a red trash can but your amygdala and is sensing to you that this is a possible Danger are amygdala doesn't understand that we gain skills as we are growing older hopefully and as for growing older and gaining skills we are learning more survival skills beyond what our amygdala can control as we learn more skills we can walk into a room with a red trash can in the corner look at it and say I'm not in danger here but Nicholas still thinks we are that's why I work with dissolving waffles because there are times in our lives we're feeling stressed and we don't even know why and that is the difference between a prefrontal cortex are sinking brain that sets goals and says we're going to be doing this since this is what I'm going to do when you know I'm going to quit eating sweets and I say that after I've had three Snickers bars and I know I'm not supposed to be eating sweets but I still do it why is that why do I self-sabotage well I self-sabotage because maybe it was for 5 years old and there was something I wanted and it was taken away from me may be for my own good for a reason it was good for me but at the time it felt like somebody was taking something away from me that I really want it and so now when I think I'm thinking I might want something sweet to eat that Amygdala tricks in and said you know what you deserve it that was taken away from you when you were 4 by so you go get it and so there are reasons why we self-sabotage there are reasons why we have this disconnect between the different parts of our brain and what I do is help people get things align so that when we stay with our goals that we want to meet that you sure I make a stressful situation right now I can move forward help explain what I do one thing you touch on in the beginning is this whole fight or flight so there is a part of the brain that that is there for safety and to help us but I what I understand from what I have said either paste different brain science is that we are now living in fight or flight and that constant anxiety internally crates that we all have past experiences in a lot of people especially subconsciously right don't understand that they are attached to these has stories but it's those that create the trapped trauma and energy in the body which leads to you know the chronic pain and chronic illness and all these disease and so something you touched on is EFT tapping that's one way to release is it a self-soothing to like let this old memory go it's actually more than that it's a way to eliminate that that fear that frustration if you're up for it I'd love to do around with you and have you experienced that I have you experienced typing before I mean I've definitely wash it many times I have I have done it but before we get started out do you have to cuz these are my own judgments about like therapy and stuff to go back to the earliest memory like to go reset and I don't find your ring in that rather than you know to release those those not like spiritual bypassing but I don't feel the need to go dig up Old Wounds you know what I mean yeah with ESG do you have to go back to us I guess you're going to walk me through it but do you have to go back to a specific time or we're just releasing whatever it we might not even know do a couple things I'd like to dress in your question have it for salsa great question one thing that I will be very candid here and that is it for 4 years every week I saw to dig up old stuff and release it at the end of 4 years I felt such relief and I told other members of my family who are not going to counseling that it's probably a good idea because it's one of those things I didn't realize how much it was affecting my life until after I cross that bridge and got on the other side look back and said wow I'm in a much better spot now that I am the 4 digits Social Studies that have done been done all of the world though have shown that when they compare cognitive behavior therapy shock therapy to something called emdrive sensitization report processing and EFT or topping emotional Freedom technique and they found them on the 3 that the EMDR and EFT are more effective in fact when I left my counselor in the last time as I walked out the door he said now I want to let you know Katie that you know your responses may come back depending on the situation I was like wait a minute I thought we'd cleared and if she they found that once you clear all aspects of a situation is gone that emotional hole is gone I want to point out and this this kind of blew my mind is somebody pointed out that when my grandmother was pregnant with my mother that the fetus that she had in her above my mother had the eggs that my mother was going to have right there so during my grandmother's pregnancy my mother's eggs were affected by all the experiences and the emotions that my grandmother fell then when my mother was born her eggs my DNA was marked with every experience she had until I was born so I have some fears I have some Tramadols I have some things that don't make any sense and it could be from my DNA that smart from experiences from my mother or my grandmother or even for their back and so there may be things that you go I have no idea why I have a fear of heights I've never fallen off of something but maybe somebody else earlier on had that fear and then actually gets us into Quantum kind of stuff I wish I had done some really interesting work with on that is you know I've heard it called generational trauma and I think the important part of that we are all connected that isn't separation so whether it's you know generational or whatever that were all this one unified energy in these different but okay so you want to do that yes. Let's do that so I can ask you a whole bunch of questions raised about this other is it if you'd like to explain what it is that's causing you waffles you can or you can just say that incident so you can make it as public or private as you like so I went to thinking about something that's causing you stress okay if you'd like to share it that's fine you don't have to what I am going to ask you is what emotion does that stressful situation trigger a new is it is it worry anxiety fear frustration lots of G exhaustion stress could be anger rage overwhelmed when I will be completely transparent because I think that is important so yes as you asked I will I will tell so what is it the topic of what I'm from I will say relationships romantic relationships romantic relationship relationship the most recent negative experience that you had with a romantic relationship what emotion negative emotions coming up frustration and anger frustration and anger and which is stronger frustration or anger frustration frustration 6/6 + from the top of your body to the bottom of your soul where do you feel the frustration about the last -8 calorie pad with a romantic relationship where you feel it in your body you know it doesn't tend to be it doesn't tend to matter what the topic is I always it's always in my chest it's always very tight shallow breathing is shallow breathing okay and what color is that's in your chest that causes touch yellow breathing true everything I'm going to ask you to repeat it once without words and then we do it with words I'm going to ask you to repeat words after me but all the words got to be true for you header so if I say something you know me or I would have said it a different way or I would have used a different word will you rephrase it in your own words the first we're going to do it just because the listening audience watching audience may not have seen this before so we'll do just the hand places so that they know where we're going to chat or start on the side of the hand between the wrist and the little finger and you can use either hand it doesn't matter and you're going to tap right there and you're going to think about that last negative interaction with a romantic relationship and how frustrating it makes you feel in your chest and just think about it end of the next but we're going to do is right on the crown of the head and you can use one hand or the other or you do the monkey move and do both it doesn't matter and half right there and then going to warn your header close up sing see it right away but it's going to be on the edge of our eyebrows right about my nose so it's going to be right there very good right there and we're thinking about the negative interaction with the Romantic partner end the next place is going to be between the edge of your eye and your eyebrow and again you can use one hand or the other or both. I took my glasses off so you could see better end of the next spot is under the I try to keep on my bags and then we go under the nose above the lip and we're thinking about that negative frustration we feel tightening in our chest and then under the lips above the chin next spot header I'd like you to cross your arms at your wrist and go right on your collarbone is actually covers a few points and then our last spot under our arms so we're going to go down and give her ribs a good hot you can do it again one hand or the other or and give yourself a hug and Duboce triangle at the side it don't matter and then I always have my clients blow all their are out because 70% of our toxins come out not as you might expect but through our breath so I'd like you to do this and do a cartoonish like that looks like this so when you think about the negative frustration when you think about romantic relations from 0 to 6 is it still on it at all 6 yes and we got that blue in our inner chest and now we're going to add words and again I'd like you to repeat different words with their different by the hand and say even though even though when I think about the last time I was so frustrated with the Romantic relationship when I think about yesterday when I was so frustrated with a romantic relationship and I feel this blue frustration in my chest and I feel this blue frustration in my chest with all the shallow breathing with all the shallow breathing right here right now I feel safe anyway right here right now I feel safe anyway even though even though they're just blue frustration in my chest and my chest when I think about you yesterday and I think about yesterday and the frustration with my romantic partner in the frustration was the Romantic partner right here right now I feel safe anyway right here right now case anyway even though even though I remember how frustrated I was yesterday I remember how frustrated I was yesterday and how frustrated I still am just thinking about it and how frustrated and triggered I still feel because it's blue in my chest cuz it's blue in my test right there right now I feel safe anyway right here right now I feel safe anyway this blue frustration in my chest is blue frustration in my test test on a side of the I just blue frustration in my chest and my chest is blue frustration in my chest to chest was just blue frustration in my chest and my chest under the lips is blue frustration in my chest scroll my flu frustration in my chest so much blue frustration in my tests are going to blow it all out like a cartoon character you ready you know I felt a huge release where I think it was at my eyebrow and then as we continued and I want listeners to know we did not have read this before and I did not know we're going to do that and I've done EST before and it's it really is it's a release that I have a question for you is it the important the same but I feel safe right here right now is that kind of this what is the why these points so special why these points is a electrical engineer from Stanford University and he was observing what psychologist and psychiatrist and chiropractors were doing with traditional Chinese medicine Meridian and as an electrical engineer he saw the meridians like electrical and he said you know what if we touch on a few of these points throughout our body we're hitting like 98% of the circus so he created this shortcut and then there are many other aspects of tapping there's places on her hands are some movements so much more to it what we did is What's called the basic recipe and so the plants are aligned with traditional Chinese medicine meridian so that's the first thing the words and they have done clinical studies and they found it happen by itself can make improvements but when you add the words that's the superpower a lot of my clients are like I don't want to see -2 B+ you should be positive but here's the thing we get negative stuff that we stopped down all day everyday and if we don't release the -3 is no place to put the positive the first time I tried my first volunteer with my husband ice end on the couch I said okay honey sit down here and tell me all your negative side I'd me trap right I mean you've been telling me to be positive all my life and I know I know but you know what the positive thing it wasn't working so we're going to try this other thing well he was most selected Heather but we finally got through and it was pretty funny because 4 weeks she had been complaining about this client about this vendor about this thing and one another that was my guess you're okay so I came home the next day I said so what about that really Troublesome client so I took care of the whole thing so I kept asking about all the things that you've been complaining about 4 weeks and he was here to take care of all of my sister so that's pretty interesting you do 1 charging session and life is better and if I do it typing had nothing to do with it I had it under control but that's the police about your husband was he was very reluctant and why are so many people whether it's reluctant or resistant to that need to want to be right in the hold in that anger and frustration and all the negative emotions maybe not cognizant and real is realizing that that's what you're creating all my problems in life we spend 85% of our day of our time of our life doing what we already know they say there were two things that frustrate people one is change and the other thing is everything stays the same are you think about it changes right exactly and people are resistant to change because you know when they say better the devil you know and so try you do you really have to push a little bit to do something different and here's the thing we only like change that we originated like we will change our underwear because we decided to do it but if we opened up our underwear drawer and somebody else put in all these other kind of underwear styles that we never wear why that's outrageous right case when we feel like we have control and it goes back to those 3 triggers that doctor Hans selye talked about that cause stress when is uncertainty when is lack of information or in our Chase and today an overload of information and the third one is loss of control when we feel like we're not in control you know we we we just want to give up and in today's world with what we've been going on people are feeling all 3 stressors right now go against chest pain through the roof that leads to the the quote lack of immunity or the The Chronic illnesses and button and everybody wants to go to the doctor to get a pill to put a Band-Aid on a symptom of a deep freeze don't get me started right there yeah it is this is you know if this is all true which we've all experienced it if we Now understand these three burgers to or stress uncertainty lack of information or overload and loss of control now that we are aware of these 3 triggers how can we so my whole thing is we can only focus on the controllables and the only control both we have our with it so what advice would you give to somebody that realizes wow these are going to be triggers to my stress how can I keep calm course I'm going to suggest tapping but I would suggest what's the opposite when I think about insert what am I certain I am certain of my name I'm certain of my penmanship and like many other people in your listening audience I'm certain I'm the best driver on the road right now all the rest of them don't have any idea what they're doing but I am the best by 96 percent of population believe that they're better driver than anyone else which is pretty and so focusing on what are we certain of instead of focusing on the uncertainty the lot lack of information that was so prevalent right especially last few months do I believe that person do I believe that person died leave that TV show what about that TV show I read something over here we go again don't back to what information do I know is true I know what my beliefs are I know I know who I love I know who loves me I know I know there's certain things that I know are true and so focusing in on the information that I know is true that goes along the line with certainty you know I don't know you know should I plan to go back to my high school reunions should I plan to go visit my sister she can I can I plan to do this all of those things may be uncertain but what am I certain I'm certain of today that I'm going to go and luckily sleep in my own bed in my own house and how blessed am I to do that I'm certain that I will have enough food to eat to do that so focusing in on what is the opposite of those three things is going to help relieve your stress and actually might bring you into something that they call you stress b u s t r e s s which is joy and love and a positive on our emotions as a spiral the positive uplifting emotions and that's what we want to I feel like the overarching messages to realize the power of art stocks right if you bought a new car or car that's new to you and you driving down the road you're like my car and there's my car this my car and you're finding out that everybody else in town about the same car that you did do you have a belief and you call it a limiting delete if you want and then you find things that support your limiting place for instance if your scared of spiders so if that's a limiting belief you may read a story about a spider that cause sister is wanting somebody that supports so you may you may find a spider that's in your house that you did you know that that's a limiting that supports so there's all these things that happen that support your belief and what typing does is we start at the most recent one yesterday when I was it was my romantic partner and we eliminated and then we keep eliminating it until your limiting belief goes away which by the way when you think about the frustration with your romantic partner from 0 to 6 where's your frustration now all my chest is way more like I end up I might have almost cut it in half so maybe around 3 and actually you can continue doing the topping Realms repeating almost the same words we did and it will go to a zero and here's a present crazy Heather is that whatever triggered that could you do an aspect of that frustration it will not come back and the thing of it is once we can control our emotions didn't our cognitive our prefrontal cortex can think we cannot think when our Mixel takes over give you an example if you hear something sad you know it's a dear pet passes or a friend is ill or you know you share about the things with covid doing the dishes just seems overwhelming you know getting in the car and going some place is just too much because you've you have all this negative emotion up with you conversely if you hear good news like my friend just won the lottery and I thought we were kind of good news you have it is like oh my gosh I feel good about going places so our emotions can actually control our actions so here's the thing are limiting beliefs can control our thoughts are start create our words are words dictate our actions and our actions contribute to our next Leafs so it actually becomes a little cycle if you're happy with where you are you just maintain that cycle if you want to change you got to interrupt it at some place and change it you can change your actions which are hard to do because we're on automatic so much you can change your words with your really hard to do because you know you just used to talking without thinking cuz that's what we do mostly all day long changing your thoughts so you can stop and meditate you can listen to other people you can read their things you can do change your thought when you can change your limiting beliefs wow because changing your limiting belief will change your thoughts which will change her Words which will change your actions so that you're not in that cycle that you didn't want to be in and something I've heard Abraham Hicks a time and time again is believes are just thought I'd keep thinking and for those listening this is something I talked about before I called a thought cycle and mine's a little more simplified for steps so if you're currently sitting in results that you're unhappy with your health your finances relationship it doesn't matter this area but if you don't have the results you want go back she will what actions are in actions aren't you taking but what am I ultimately it was thoughts that's retarded it also thoughts emotions actions result but for somebody who is on autopilot who is just going through life's motions how do you become a where to catch yourself to interrupt you make sure the only happens when you hit rock bottom okay on that no I hear you I know what you're saying but can't we learn and observe from other so we don't have to hit a return and I don't usually happens when someone if it's if it's a word observing if it's somebody over there that is starving or doesn't have you know something that we want and need their so far removed from us that has to experience it one way or the other either personally or from people we know and love I mean you've heard you've heard of a people to have had serious illness and end because friends are our people have had that serious illness they've changed their behavior right but that's that that behavior has been going on all over the world everywhere else and it hadn't change them and so it has to be something that impacts you personally I would love for you to share a little bit about your book shower blessings and then the acronym you shared with me about a lot so patient I'm in a busy life I wrote it because I was having lunch with a friend one day and she was saying how she didn't have time to meditate I know I didn't have any time either being a mom of three kids with him within five years having full-time job smoke usually multiple jobs being active and volunteering and everything I said I figured out the only place that I was by myself for any. Of time was in the shower and so everything I've written in the book is our prayers meditations things that you can do in the shower and one of the acronym should I come up with and check it was given to me one time when I was driving from Florida to New Orleans is it's really important to pray or meditate a lot and they word a lot stands for a is best if we don't ask the spirits Universe what you want to call it don't really know what's in our heart and until we ask the example I guess is you know I'm going to feed and water and take care of protect my children just as God would do for me but I had no idea they wanted to Red Wagon. That stuff I want to red bag and I need to ask I need to ask Universe I know I've always heard that it's important to write down what your requests end to be as specific as possible so about 20 years ago I had written down that I wanted a house filled with flowers and in my mind I was thinking of Des has a cut flowers and every room Heather my husband had bought nearly 200 orchids that are all over our house and I was upset because I couldn't find my flowers anywhere until I say I got it working moving in every room. What do you think about that so I had flowers in every room but because I hadn't said cut flowers in a vase which actually I'm loving it working it's a hobby of his butt to be very specific about what you write down so asking and being specific about what you want is really important the L in the word a lot is to listen and then we walk away and what if my kids ask for Red Wagon didn't have a chance to tell them what's going on and how do you listen you have to be quiet to be able to share don't you have to be quiet and sometimes I ask for that red wagon and what I hear is you're going to get a blue Buick I'm like I don't want to Blue Buick I want to Red Wagon and you can get something bigger and better than you even ask for I know what you're going to get it so I argue no I want to red when I get which brings me to the letter O which is obey whatever I hear whatever I see whatever I feel like is the answer for my listening it's my responsibility to all day and I tell a story in about having to obey a very difficult message that I received to give away $1,000 that I had no I didn't have $1,000 and I had no intention of giving it away and I ended up well you'll have to read the book to find out and then at the end of it is regardless of what happens to always give backs there's another story in there about a car accident I had that sounded really awful but at the end of it it was it was probably one of us thankful things that ever happened and I didn't know I don't know he's no right way to get thanks but giving thanks makes a difference saying attitude of gratitude something that I would like to touch on before we get to the end here is that you shared with me on this whole principle of asking for help that we have free will isn't that interesting that we were made perfect but we can make choices and so we can make choices we can say that if we're smoker that we want to quit smoking but then we can choose whether to quit smoking or non-smoking so we have the ability to choose what we want to do next and that kind of goes with our cycle night if we are in a cycle and we're in happy we get to choose whether to continue the cycle or the interrupted and to create something different but it's all about free well and it's a confounding thing that we've been given but it's very very powerful yes I love that cuz that it's so true that we have choice and so I'd like to ask you what is a key takeaway you went to get on this conversation of stress and rapping and what's the overarching message to the other one is it stressed end damage you hang on my throat is not stress but it's feeling like And the second thing is you have a choice on how to handle stress and chopping is one of many ways that you can eliminate stress from your life I'd like to ask you a couple rapid fire questions to wrap up the interview first one being what is a quote or motto that you live by that I live by there's a great one and I have it on my other desk but not here and it was attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson I doubt you have lived my life where children are laughing and there's a garden has made and I'm butchering it completely but that life is all about little bits of happiness and I guess that's probably it is our job to find that happiness than to rattle in it I love that makes me think of like dropping confettis and having both Parcels every day what is the book you're currently reading are highly recommend so I'm reading about four bucks right now I just got a book yesterday from one of my friends Leadership Lessons From The Pub by my friend Irvine Nugent I don't know if you've read a little soul in the Sun by Neal Donald walsch I'm reading a business Made Simple by Donald Miller and instructor so I'm reading a lot of Chee Kong books as that is a lot, so I've tried that and I cannot multi read because I I lose focus so I have to go all a good for you that's a lot of stuff worse things yes I get bored easily final question for you what advice would you give your younger self it's going to be okay I had a tumultuous childhood we moved frequently I went to 12 different schools and five different states and I left home as a High School Junior and was homeless for a number of weeks until I was a foster child and after my high school graduation where none of my relatives attended the following day I flew out from Nebraska to San Diego and to attend college and ended up hitchhiking 20 miles in each direction to be able to go to college fast forward I've been married almost 20 48 years and have earned my Ph.D and I'm still learning and I have a loving family that I'm dirt Rado and it's going to be okay yeah it's going to be okay yeah I love that doctor Katie thank you so much for joining me today thank you so much header I so appreciate all the good that you're bringing in the world thank you
Design + Align + Create Your Ideal LifeEpisode 347 - Sara Armstrong joined in today's podcast to teach you how to desig
Mindset Refresh - A Monthly RitualEpisode 346 - Each month along with the moon cycle, I do a monthly refresh. In t
The Key Principles to Change Your LifeEpisode 345 - Elinor Miller joined in to share the power of perspective. If you'
Upgrade Your MindsetEpisode 344 - In this episode, I share with you a recent exercise I did to take